From: i'll teach you to turn away. Subject: LISH'S TRAVELLOGUE AGAIN YES FOR YOU Date: 3 Feb 2002 + LISH DECIDES TO PACK UP & MOVE ACROSS THE COUNTRY AGAIN + by lish why did i move. well. basically, i'm trying to find my home. california isn't it. to clarify, i was sick of paying exorbitant rent to live in a shitty little beachfront town when i don't enjoy sand or sun or water, where all of the people are too flaky to show up for anything 'cause "bro, the water called me. i had to surf." the rent's high & the job prospects are low & everyone's either stoned all the time, NOT stoned all the time 'cause if they got stoned at all they'd be stoned ALL the time (ie "recovering"), or ME. yes, i'm in a CLASS BY MYSELF. as you WELL KNOW. that said... HERE ARE THE HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE TRAVELLOGUE. YOU HEARD ME. + tuesday, january 22nd; 5p-11p pst, 430 miles; i-101s, i-40e - awakened at 8am to the sound of the neighbors vomiting. boy, i'm going to miss living in santa cruz. (spent the next two hours considering how little i'm going to miss santa cruz.) - free sushi lunch for my moving crew 'cause the truck was two hours late. bluh. - left santa cruz at four pm. fuck that noise. GOODBYE, ALCOHOLICS & REHAB IDIOTS & GOT-SPARE-CHANGE GUYS & ASSHOLES & WHY DID I MOVE HERE AGAIN I FORGET. + wednesday, january 23rd; 10a-8p mtn, 580 miles; i-40e - it's on wednesday that it truly begins to suck having a car with a broken heater. bad enough that i'm in two shirts & a hooded sweatshirt & a leather jacket & a scarf around the hood & gloves & also wrapped in a blanket, but i'm trying to keep jeremy, my snake, warm & he doesn't much enjoy being stuffed into a pillowcase inside my sweatshirt. he made the trip just fine, but cripes, that sucked. - i met pat pruitt. i caught a tour of custom steel (lovely shop), was loaded up with tshirts that actually fit (hooray for companies that realize MEDIUM is not small enough), & pat took good care of me. BUT HE IS STILL A TOUGH GUY ASSHOLE. TRYING TO KEEP YOUR SECRET, PAT. - arizona & new mexico are full of snow & i didn't make my 800 mile goal that day. (could someone please fucking tell me why ARIZONA & NEW MEXICO had SNOW? that'd be great, thanks.) fortunately, pat made staying in HORRIBLE AWFUL NEW MEXICO a little bit more bearable. + thursday, january 24th; 7a-11p cst, 1006 miles; i-40e, i-44e - i drove more miles thursday than i'd ever driven in a day. damnit, i was going to get to rolla by that evening. i had GOOD REASON, RIGHT KATESTER??!? oh hell yeah. + friday, january 25th + saturday, january 26th + sunday, january 27th - these three days i spent in illinois, where i lived for four years. friends came to get me in rolla & drove me back sunday evening so i could see my pals & yet not add eight more hours to my trek. it was a nice time. i don't think i have anything to report to you pricks, though. - except this. when you're driving & you want to manipulate some sort of object at the same time, always use the DRIVING HAND as the STABILIZING HAND. i saw a woman trying to peel a banana while she drove, & instead of being a NORMAL PERSON & holding the banana with her left hand (also holding the wheel) & peeling with her right, free hand, she was trying to peel it with the left, & it was just a mess. it sort of looked like she was trying to jerk off the steering wheel. - & this too. my stupid nokia emergency cellphone broke. so i had to spend two hours at radio shack in central illinois getting the dumb counter guy to give me a new one & switch over my service & in the process he seems to've given me an extra hour of pre-paid time, so i guess that's okay, then. "radio shack: you have questions, & so do we." + monday, january 28th - cat spencer fucking tattooed my arm for five & a half hours between 1pm & 7:30. i'd been under the impression that my limit was 3.5h. (you want photos? send me a new mavica; mine's ailing.) i'd guess we have another ten hours to go. it was around this time i started a list of BAD IDEAS LISH HAS RECENTLY HAD: * think i'll drive across the country in fucking january#!@ - in a car with no heater! - with a cold-blooded animal! * think i'll tattoo my entire arm@#! - & request that there be no negative space! make that fucker solid! great plan#%! - also, weird enough that AZ & NM were freezing, but missouri was, for reasons totally unknown to me, balmy & pleasant. i was able to walk around town in a tank top & jeans & not even be chilled. i am BLESSED. - the budget inn, at twenty bucks a night, is a terrific deal. it was clean & warm & totally stunk of dead cigarettes, as did i after being in the room for a few minutes. but it was worth it - twenty bucks a night@!!@ - cat's shop partner, mike, was attempting to console me during the last half hour of ink. he proffered my own cellphone to me & asked, "does it hurt? here, call someone who cares." thanks mike#!@ + tuesday, january 29th; 9a-7p est, 660 miles; i-44e, i-24e, i-75s - i met kavin. he is... not his online persona. SELLING YOU OUT NOW, KAV. but then again, nothing happened that would've set him off, as it were, so what do i know. (I KNOW EVERYTHING.) - i toured brian skellie's piercing shop in atlanta. all i'm saying is that yttrx needs to pay those kids a visit - it's the perfect shop for him. no, really. this girl sommersett who works there started yapping about "the moon is in mercury" or something within one minute of my being in the shop. then she told me about how my ebony lobe plugs can catch hepatitis off their doorknob. no slander - she really said that. - primo: i handed kavin my keychain & asked if he knew what it is. a few moments passed, & blinding horror flashed across his face & he dropped my keys as if they were burning him. which they may've been - my keychain, as several of you know, was once in drlg's cock. high comedy continued for me as i then watched kavin wash his hands with his vodka martini. + wednesday, january 30th; 10a-730p est, 610 miles; i-75s, florida turnpike s - people who work at gas stations in southern georgia & northern florida don't really know how to deal with me much at all. otherwise a boring day. i arrived safe & whatever. OKAY THAT'S IT FOR THE DRIVING. now, special treats! + the best billboards across the country: [ green background, white lettering ] JESUS [ no other information ] [ black background, white lettering ] HEIL [ phone number, no other information ] the KUM & GET IT restaurant chain billboards WHO'S YOUR DADDY? [ image of a baby shrugging its shoulders ] DNA TESTING [ phone number ] + love: fuck you, BB. fuck you, SC. here's a personal note just to you two: i am 100% happy i'm never going to see your pathetic, prickish, arrogant, faux-friendly, fake, immature, inefficient, pseudo-deep, uncaring, empty, insincere, impotent, deceitful, flaky, undereducated, word-twisting, small, 12-stepping, lying, nervous, devoid-of-self-control, i-only-sleep-with-married-women, ingenuine salesman selves ever again. & i'm only wasting enough karma on you to be glad about the hep c. TEE-FUCKING-HEE. OKAY GUYS, THAT'S ALL. THANKS FOR READING MY CRAP. lish "the city that you love so very much crank@got.net is begging to be burnt to the ground." -jc 36.6% / 29 RANA 125 / 68