+ "i hate rab" + by lish [ the scene: rabcon '00, at some dinky shop in some dinky town. the town was voted upon in a seven-month escapade which involved an online voting booth, an actual curtained voting booth, shannon larratt, many long straws & one short straw, & a test-your-strength machine. gonzo is standing outside the dinky shop, talking to babichele. ] babichele: hehe gonzo: can i give you cunnilingus? `8r) [ enter geoffrey. he's carrying a glass of some golden fluid, & he's smirking. he begins talking out loud to no one in particular. rebekah, hearing his litany, cruises over. she is sitting in a la-z-boy recliner that has somehow been modified for locomotion. ] geoffrey: So I told her, if she can't stick her tongue out far enough for the piercer to get the clamps on properly, she should recommend that he simply cut out her tongue and sew it back on later. This as well would most certainly make the piercing easier to align vertically. rebekah: Yes, I agree. Tell her to try http://www.cutyourtongueout.com, http://www.scissors.com/~meat, http://www.myfatass.com, http://... [ bekah's patter fades into nothingness. bonita80 approaches & stands jealously close to gonzo. chumley & abbie enter, holding one another's ass. ] bonita80: i'm still dating gonzo, you guys. gonzo: she likes cunnilingus. `8r) katester: chumley: I work with instituitonalized kids, gonzo, and I dont see where your comments have any bearing at all. You sound like a sociopath. Cant you ever thing of anyone but yourself. dawn: > i'm a psychloggist. i can tell he needs help like all of u yttrx: FUCKING DIE, WHORE. [ there is a pause. ] abbie: that was weird. [ another pause. ] abbie: well. [ bonita & gonzo exit the room. enter barry blanchard, ulf the viking swede, & keith alexander of mab. ulf is plucking at the hairs on his arm with some sort of mechanical device, & keith is wearing a lovely red shift. ] barry: anatometal is the best jewelry you can buy. it's implant grade ASNTUH-4250X. it's very high quality. ulf: My anatometal titanium barbell is rusty. bury: bbl rebekah: I don't see why everyone here can't be a little nicer to each other. keith: ***Perhaps you need a new medication to make you see us as nicer. bekah's meds: yes! take us! take us! we'll make you better! chumley: Medicatons are given out far to readaly. People need to try other methods of curing there problems first and resort too medication after all other avenues have been taken. yttrx: YEAH, IF YOU'D GET OFF YOUR FAT ASS ONCE IN A WHILE & DO SOME EXERCISE YOU MIGHT NOT NEED THEM. [ everyone looks around. abbie is nowhere to be seen. ] [ enter nina, dymentian, & freakboi. keith stands up with a great yet silent flourish & exits quickly. enter hermitkid, walking hand-in-hand with toddb. ] nina: Antihistamines are useful in the treatment of itching in some dogs and cats. Used alone, about 15 to 25% of dogs will respond to antihistamines. Used in combination with fatty acid inhibitors, such as DermCaps, EFA-Z and Omega EFA capsules, about 25 to 40% of dogs will respond, reducing scratching behavior to acceptable levels. nina: :-) user198: i read this study that said 98% of people with tattoos are ugly. JSin: Server notified. dymentian: hehe i was drunk while on irc yesterday :) freakboi: we know. we had to deal with you. ulf: you're too hairy, luis!! you need an igi'a!! [ ulf attacks luis with the igi'a. ] freakboi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA dymentian: did i mention i'm a satanist and i don't care about you? baital: LaVeyan? hermitkid: Do you guys wanna hear about the shit I took last night? toddb: lavender will make youre ass heal closed w/no scarring no mirgation [ abbie runs screaming from around the corner & attacks todd bertrang with a sharp rock. toddb goes down once & for all. his body explodes into tiny rainbows & they float away with the breeze. exeunt hermitkid. enter kevtor & gloriana. gloriana looks exactly like dawn. ] kevtor: Please, please call me Punkin. gloriana: im not dawn i swear geoffrey: I make an obscene amount of money. scamp: I make an obscene amount of money. [ bonita80 & gonzo reenter the room, both with satisfied looks on their faces. bonita80 begins flashing most of the dinky town's permanent residents. one is stunned into abject horror & promptly turns to stone. bonita80 smiles pleasantly. ] bonita80: gonzo: rattle: I'm just making a cameo. You won't understand my appearance here unless you've read the e'zine DTO. scamp: I had a tattoo appointment the day before yesterday, one yesterday; I had two today, I have three tomorrow, and one on Saturday. Trevor is the absolute best. ulf: I don't want to see your cooch, bonita. More hot gay guys, I say! syn: someone call? fydo: Guys, I'm going to get a PA! abacab: squonk. I made it with baital. [ baital slugs abacab in the jaw. ] heidi: yes! chalk one up to the Amazon Women Take Over Everything union! heidi: i really really want to try out my new genital jewelry. any takers? heidi: anyone? [ enter lish. she doesn't stop walking as she passes through the crowd outside the dinky tattoo shop. siddy follows her, paying rapt attention. ] abbie: you're short. lish: fuck you. i hate everyone here. i didn't come to this stupid fucking munch thing anyway. fuck. [ exeunt lish, scowling, siddy in tow. lobes enters. among other things, there is a metal folding chair, a piece of sewer pipe, & a tv antenna through her ears. ] heidi: anyone? rebekah: I'm having work done on my backpiece tomorrow afternoon. If I can get out of my chair, that is. I haven't decided yet. lobes: Thats great!!!!!! alice cooper: OH GOD, I HATE IT, I HATE IT john lennon: Which one is me? heidi: LOOK AT ME!!! hehe iscariot: Shut up. melou: sorry :( [ enter LadyJ & rave. rave is wearing vinyl pants & clutching a damp photo of a dog. his makeup has run. ] LadyJ: Where's Keith? baital: I'm at 4% in three hundred hours! I'm going home to my REAL planet soon! keith: re keith: hehe HI hiedi :D heidi: Hello keeeeeeefyweeeeeeefie. rave: i'm feeling suicidal today. LadyJ: You'll feel better if you fuck me, Rave. rave: i'll never feel better [ zebby bankicks chumley from rabcon. geoffrey is mumbling something about getting people fired. keith seems to have vanished. bekah is stuck in the doorway. ] [ if you look closely, you can see fifty-nine thousand, nine hundred & sixty people hiding in the bushes, quietly observing. ]